2个回答
以前有个男人学了点外语并且字认为学的不错,一天他出门不小心撞了一个老外,于是他说: i am sorry.
老外说:i am sorry too.
此人说道:i am sorry three.
老外疑惑道: what are you sorry for?
此人一本正经的说道:i am soory five.
我们班刚演过 ，获得了系里一等奖(孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本) 虽然人物多了一个，可以有群众演员嘛 焦仲卿johnny(jforshort) 刘兰芝lunch(lforshort) 焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort) 刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort) 太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort) 强盗burglars(abandc) prologue 序幕 (j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪) j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong. 译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。 (指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you! 译：我才不怕你呢！ (内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! 译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！ (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j) my god! who can help me?(下) 译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？ act1 第一幕 (序幕结束时,jm作窃听状) jm(拄拐棍上):i can! (对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you? l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum? jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”. l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up? jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… l:but…… jm:never interrupt me! l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and…… jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson! l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下) act2 (lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上) l:mum, i’m back! lm:you are back?why?what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me. look at yourself…… l:but,mum…… lm:never interrupt me! l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and i’ll marry whomever you want me to. lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下) l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅 铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下) act3 (j睡眼惺忪上) j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty! (突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself. jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet? j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone! jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back! j(立正敬礼):yes madam! act4 (j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) a:hey you!stop and listen to us! the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚) ab&c:give us all your money! j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) a:what bad luck! this guy is broken! b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight! c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding! a&b:good idea! j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible! ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple! j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet! (突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go with you. you take the money and i take the bride. b:have you got any experience? j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (j和三强盗跃至台中) abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us! a:the road is built by me! b:and i planted one tree. c:if you want to go by this street--- j:give us all your money! (l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头) l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后) (ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒) j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去） (j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms) (j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you? l(哭状):i hurt a lot! j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下) l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)